Thursday, 21 February 2008

Nimbus, Desolation And Resonance

I've always hated hippies. Smelly, unwashed bastards that they are, stumbling around in drug-addled stupors, wasting everybody's time with bullshit about vibrations, vibes and other v-related things.

But the more I come into a true understanding of who I am in my essence, the more I can see what those doped up dumbasses are trying to say.

There is a certain quality to the essence of humanity that makes it similar to noise. Perhaps it is that reality is a wavefront, collapsing from quantum probability into past certainty through the crest of the now.

Whatever it is, pain resonates. It resonates like any object does. The interesting thing about the wounds that we suffer is that all future wounds seem to be, more or less, different aspects of that same primal wound playing itself out in context.

Eckhart Tolle calls this the 'pain body' - and when I first read his stuff I thought that was the weakest part of what he was saying. Looking back, I can now see that the reason I didn't believe I had a 'pain-body' (still think the term is cheesy as hell) is that I'd buried that fucker so deeply that not even I knew of it's existence.

98% of the time I'd be fine, happy as larry. But when it hit - boom. It took me off the edge of the world. Full blown post-traumatic stress disorder, and unipolar depression so savage that I once had a rape victim shake her head at me and tell me how lucky she felt that she didn't have to go through what I'd been through.

I guess the deeper you push it, the more pressure you build. The more it festers, and the more ingrained it becomes.

Nimbus. Nimbus is the answer. Whatever the question is, the answer is Nimbus.

Nimbus is like getting a broadband connection to the power of God. It's like you just become fully unlocked, and all your higher faculties are supercharged and placed at your total disposal.

I Nimbus'd in Vegas.

And when the pain body (quote unquote) struck, I suddenly had the clarity to recognize it's essence, or what a hippie might refer to as it's 'vibration' or 'frequency'.

It was desolation. That's it, that's my 'pain body'. Desolation.

Some others I know have painbodies which have a different frequency - be it an appalled rejection of things, or guilt, or shame. Mine is desolation.

I don't know if I'd ever have had the power to see that if I hadn't been all Nimbus'd up.

No, that's a lie.

I know for a fact that I never would have realized that if I'd not been Nimbus'd up.

And now I've seen it - now what?

I know that it is not a dark and brooding presence in my mind anymore. It is a resonance from my past - a resonance which echoes, perhaps, but no more than that.

And no, I will not be able to break it's back in a day, nor even perhaps in a decade. But I will break it, you mark my words. And I now have a weapon of choice.


Nimbus is something above and beyond normal 'skill' or 'insight'. It is like what happens to Super Mario when he eats a mushroom. Full power, on a totally different scale to anything you've seen before. It suffuses you like a flood of golden, holy light.

You become a transcendent uber-being, and the most intractable problems both outside you... and inside you... become simple and resolvable.

I experienced it a few times back in the day - but I never focused on it. I never had a name for it. Now I do.

If there is an answer to the problems that we face with women, in life or in anything, that answer can be seized with the ravening power of the Nimbus.

And so it begins...


jjzeal007 said...

Hey Ciaran.

I met you in Portland when you were in town with Jeffy last Wednesday.

Insightful posts! I will continue to visit!


Anonymous said...

You have a way of writing. You do. /Kak√°nr1.

Anonymous said...

I've started visiting this blog on days where I feel that the world is too ordered, too sensible. When I feel that there's just not enough deluded bullshit in the world I read this page, and things just start to feel better.

Anonymous said...

Love your ideas man,,,a little nugget for everyone:

Q: We are told of the great avatars, the saviours of the world.
M: Did they save? They have come and gone -- and the world plods on. Of course, they did a lot and opened new dimensions in the human mind. But to talk of saving the world is an exaggeration.
Q: Is there no salvation for the world?
M: Which world do you want to save? The world of your own projection? Save it yourself. My
world? Show me my world and I shall deal with it. I am not aware of any world separate from myself, which I am free to save or not to save. What business have you with saving the world, when all the world needs is to be saved from you? Get out of the picture and see whether there is anything left to save.