Wednesday, 9 April 2008

Do You Really Want Pity?

To our deepest core, our cells will reward us for driving ourselves beyond the limits of all endurance.

Do you really want pity?

When you whine - do you really want pity?

THINK.

That whining voice, that complaining voice that reminds you of all your circumstances and all the things that hold you back - WOULD YOU REALLY WANT THAT VOICE ANSWERED?

Even if life responded in full to that voice, what would it give you?

It would comfort you. Comfort you, and pity you.

Do you really want pity?

Honestly, do you?

What's the best thing that whining could get you? Comfort and pity!

Do you want either!?

Can you not think of anything greater than comfort, or anything better than pity?

Comfort? Pity?

What is that whining voice asking for other than your mother to pick you up and hug you because you grazed your knee!

Are you a child!?

Pity?

Comfort?

Glory and AWE!

Fuck your comfort! I want GLORY!

Fuck your pity! I want your AWE!

You will stand in awe of me one day, looking at me shocked and just saying "how in the living fuck have you done what you've done?"

As children we hungered for pity and comfort.

As adults we still do.

We need to remind ourself that pity and comfort are of no use to us.

I do not want comfort. I want glory.

And I will never, ever need pity, no matter how much damage I have taken, no matter how wronged I have been or am being, no matter how much shit I've gone through or am going through or face in my future.

No pity, not from you. Not from anyone.

I have no use for your pity. And I have no use for your approval.

Glory. Awe.

Everything else is irrelevant.

3 comments:

Scribe said...

Fuck, yeah!

If anyone, I'm definitely guilty of giving in to the craving for pity and comfort. No more, man... No more.

John said...

There is a fine line though, my friend, between awe and worship. Awe doesn't commit you to people, but is an expression of your perception. Worship is an action you undertake to describe your awe through lowering yourself.

One of the Buddhist anthologies talks about it. I'll dig it up.

Word.

Anonymous said...

LOL! You really are a total fucking fruitcake!