Ok guys, here's a response I was writing to someone and again, it got out of hand so I figured I'd post it here.
Dude WHAT-THE-FUCK are you talking about? lol
Iam in the seduction community cause I want to get better with women. Some guys are good with women, some are not. If you want to get better with women you learn how to get better in a seduction community. If you don't want to be better with girls you don't join a seduction community."
It's not that simple. If you want to get better with girls, and you join the seduction community, not only will you probably not get better with girls (really - the overwhelming majority of guys who try this fail and are worse off with women afterward than when they started) if you do get better with girls then that newfound skill will not better your life.
It will damage you and those around you.
"WHAT IAM TRYING TO SAY IS THIS: Just chill bro'!!! What is all this complex nerd-talk about life good for? Keep it simple man... Let's bang some chicks!! RAWR!!!(H)"
This is not complex. This is chillingly simple. If you 'bang some chicks' you are not going to be better off for having done it. Period.
"...or not if it makes you more happy to sit in your room and read buddha and stuff."
Dude, I have no illusions that I am going to change your mind. None. I know you are set on this path, and I am sorry for you because you deserve better than where you are headed.
At the same time, 'sitting in your room reading buddha and stuff' is just as fucked as seduction if you're doing it because it 'feels good.'
What is good for you does not always feel good.
And frankly if 'what feels good' is the compass by which you are guiding your journey in life - fuck dude. Like, come on, man. Can you not see that this is dangerous? I mean, can you not see that living like this is emotionally unsustainable? And deeper than that - that the part of you that you are feeding by living this way in any area, let alone the all-consuming addiction of the seduction community, is something that will not serve you?
I mean, really, dude - and anyone reading this, listen. If what makes you happy in the short term is your compass needle, you are feeding that part of you that has no depth!
Do not be so blinded by your victories and the rhetoric of others that you believe that you can get away with this! Do not believe you are above the inescapable laws of human nature!
Hell does not give a fuck what you tell yourself! It just doesn't care! It laughs at you when you rebel against what you must know, somewhere in you, is the truth!
"Destructive??? Dark places??? Iam happier then I've ever been and I look around at the people around me who are doing drugs, complaining, mass drinking, consumerism, YOU KNOW ALL TAHT NICE STUFF???"
Do you not think that I had my periods of amazing happiness? Dude, like I have said, I was very good. I was better at this than most guys ever get. There are a lot of professionals with big followings who did not have the abilities I had. And I reveled in them. I felt like a million dollars. I'd never felt that good before or since.
And let me tell you man, that it's not the sex - although I had a shitload of that. That's like a fucking sideshow to the real action. The real action is the pride. The massive pride in who you are.
The pride that I overcame the impossible. The pride that I went from Zero to Hero. The pride that I lived untouched by the insecurities that had dogged me, and the pride that I was always the centre of attention.
That I could see the fucking matrix, man - that I could handle myself in with the hottest chicks like Neo handles himself in a bar-fight with a fat disabled drunk.
You see it changes. Firstly, there's the high of getting laid. That's a big high. It's even bigger when you consider all the shit you've gone through to get there.
Then when you really start to kick ass, there's the high of just being really slick. That's a big high.
Now here's the thing. You'll be pulling shit out of your ass that is awesome, and you'll love it. You'll be like "this is the coolest shit ever!"
And the girls will love it. And your friends will love it. And all the dudes on the internet will love it.
And there will be nothing about it that seems in any way wrong. Nothing. In fact, it will seem like the most natural and cool thing ever.
You will become a turbo-charged version of yourself, and it will rock so hard you will become an evangelical preacher, converting others to this way.
But here's the problem. And before I get into this let me again state that I have no illusions that this will change your mind. I do not think I would have stopped had I got as deep into this as you.
I guess what I want to do is to say to anyone reading this who is sitting on the brink - get the fuck away from the brink.
The problem is simple. The impossible becomes commonplace.
The impossible becomes commonplace.
What I'm saying is this. The human mind can normalise itself to anything. You will normalise yourself to this glory and when you do, you will encounter something.
This is something, incidentally, that I remember raising at a sit down dinner I had not so long ago with some of the best 'ladies men' alive.
Every single one of them nodded. So do not think that what I am about to describe to you is an isolated case, or specifically to do with me.
The problem you will encounter is NOT boredom.
It is NOT 'oh well, let's just do something else'.
You cannot condition yourself for months and years to relentlessly think and behave in a certain way without building up a massive inertia behind it.
The problem is very simply this - a creeping sense of the hollow.
This is not something that leaps upon you like a wolf. It just starts to seep into your life like poison.
Bit by bit, it gets more and more potent. It does this slowly, and you experience it as follows.
You're hitting on a lovely girl and suddenly you realise, maybe 30 minutes in to the conversation, that you are DEFINITELY going to be able to sleep with her.
You can see everything ahead, and you know exactly how to handle it. Short of an act of God, you know you're already fucking her, you're just moving toward a conclusion.
And when you get that realisation, the magic leaves the situation and it feels dull and mechanical.
And you do it anyway. And you fuck her, and you feel 'meh' about it.
Nothing dramatic, nothing massive, just 'yeah, hmm, ok then. Sex."
So you're chasing that rush you used to get and you go for hotter and hotter chicks.
And for a while you get that rush again. Then again, it goes. And you go for threesomes and strippers. And you get another rush.
Then the banality sets in. And it just feels like "ok, here's another mars bar, I'll eat the mars bar and get the sugar rush. Great. Now I need another mars bar."
And that sense of hollowness, all this time, is getting stronger and louder and harder to ignore.
Who the fuck am I?
What the fuck is going on?
Why do I feel so alone all the time?
And you shake it off and say "Don't be such a pussy. Stop bitching. There are a shitload of guys who would kill to get what you have. Buck your ideas up sonny Jim. Go to the club.
So you go to the club. And you pull.
And this time the hollowness doesn't wait for the sex to be over.
It doesn't wait for a week after you get laid, nor a day, nor a minute.
It's right there with you fucking you as you fuck her.
And suddenly you start thinking "who gives a fuck about this?"
But you can't stop.
And by this time the damage you're doing to yourself by each new girl you fuck is like throwing matches on a bonfire. You're already burning.
You're already way beyond fucked. You're just waiting for the least little thing to come tip those scales and drop you the fuck down.
And it will because the house you have built is a house of cards, and it CANNOT stand.
And when you fucking fall man, you fucking fall. And if any of you out there are thinking "what's all this existential nonsense, why doesn't he talk in specifics" let me say this.
It's not fucking nonsense when it's tearing you a new emotional asshole every single minute of every single day.
It's not fucking nonsense when your skills with women, those same skills you spent so much time honing are ripped away from you because no woman will even speak with a man who's so transparently worthless in his own eyes.
It's not fucking nonsense when all the guys who looked up to you are now looking at you like you never had any skill whatsoever and all your bleating claims of "I used to be good" are unconvincing even to you.
Look, I know that a lot of guys are in this and they seem so together. They're fucking the hottest chicks with total impunity and they feel like a million fucking dollars.
But that million fucking dollars is on loan, dude, and when that debt gets called in, you lose a lot more than you ever think you stood to lose in the first place.
I guess I just want to end with one thought. A lot of guys have responded to me saying "what about me, I feel great" or "What about X, he feels great".
Guys, falling feels like flying on the way down.
Falling feels like flying on the way down.
And the guy who wrote this letter to me is right to point at all the things that are fucked about the world.
"doing drugs, complaining, mass drinking, consumerism..."
You are right. These things are fucked. And they're fucked because they ALL - ALL OF THEM - are about building a life based on short-term hits of happiness, superiority and pride.
As seduction is.
AS SEDUCTION IS.
And just as you cannot divorce "doing drugs, complaining, mass drinking, and consumerism" from the short term high and the long term low that are associated with them, that are inextricably bond up in the very foundations of what these things are - ANY project of self-improvement based around seduction is irretrievably interwoven with the short term hit and the long-term low.
But the real killer is this. That long term low will hit you. And it will. There is no way out while you strive to be a better seducer of women.
None. Full stop.