Hey guys - response to a comment on one of my posts got out of hand so I decided to post it as a main blog post. I'm such a scamp.
Basically, the poster asked
"If you fear a woman, and fear rejection from a woman, then you have essentially allowed a woman to dictate what you need to fear or not."
I guess my point wasn't really about women, but the fact that fear entrenches itself in things. This isn't something you allow or don't allow - you can't stop it. Fear creeps in. And when it creeps in it builds fortresses for itself wherever it can. Fortresses of thought, of reason, of what you experience as insecurity.
One of the things it entrenches itself in, and the reasons for this are no doubt complex, is in trying to attract someone of the opposite sex.
I guess what I'd say is that it's not really a case of 'allowing' women to scare you, more admitting the fact that they already do.
If it were just a case of 'not allowing' the fear, guys would be having a lot more sex than they are. It's not a case of allowing or not allowing as I see it - the fact is that when you rock up to a honey you've never met, that calls out a lot of insecurities into the light of day. A lot of things you'd never even think you're subject to.
This gives you an opportunity to call out the deep structures of the 'ego,' and bring them from your subconscious into your conscious mind.
It doesn't need to be about girls either, nor is it necessarily gendered. The crucible can be any situation that is sufficiently intense. A high-octane sales role, for instance, would have similar effects.
The main problem with these high-octane situations is that the extreme levels of confidence and internal unity which they give you access to can lead to intense arrogance. The guy who hits on a lot of chicks and so calls out his insecurities, or the guy who takes a high-octane sales role treads a hard and brutal path, but it will get him powerful results.
The problem is that it is extremely easy to get lost in either the sex or the money respectively, and in doing so to lose touch with the highest part of yourself.
Perhaps this is inevitable, and if it is I would not be surprised. There is something inherently Faustian about both the 'seduction community' and the kind of high-pressure work environments I'm talking about.
At the same time, I cannot help thinking back to the power that I unleashed in myself. The purity of it, the clarity of thought it gave me.
I go back to what I posted earlier in the blog, in Zen/Nimbus Fusion.
The first time I enjoyed sustained access to the state of Nimbus I went in blind, just looking for the best way to pull chicks and accidentally stumbling across a higher state of consciousness, of radiant beauty and power, of total clarity of thought and expression.
The hubris was what pulled me down - and the truth is that this is not my own isolated case. The problem of hubris is intimately connected with the phenomenon of Nimbus, whether that Nimbus is triggered by 'pick up' or by your abilities as a rock-star, or by your ability as a salesman, or by your ability as a politician or whatever.
And yet, throughout history there have been those isolated cases of people who have ignited Nimbus and retained humility. Sort of got the Nimbus, but didn't lose their shit. Saints, for instance. And Gandhi. Moses. Christ. Buddha.
Point is, there's something here, and I don't know if it's just madness to look at it, and I don't know if you can purposefully ignite it without destroying yourself in the process.
Maybe you can't. Maybe it's arrogance even to try. Sometimes I'm reminded of all those Greek legends of the heroes who tried to climb Olympus. Perseus - ended up dead. Prometheus ended up in eternal torment.
These are not idle cautionary tales, these are deep truths about the way of things.
But if a pure Nimbus divorced from any sense of personal accomplishment or sense of self - if such a thing could be mapped, could be discovered, then such a thing could be industrialized.
This is madness, I know it, but if you had felt the giddy brilliance, the total power and clarity of a human mind in a state of complete unleashed flow, you would know as I do that the prize here is no less than a fire that could burn this world to the ground... or save it.
Eckhart Tolle holds a lot of the keys to achieving a state of genuine humility. His work is invaluable, but I feel that while it is potent beyond measure, there are intractable things in this world, deep darknesses that only Nimbus can penetrate.
The difference I think is between stepping back from the world and punching right through the centre.
But before this can be done, that ego, that vast fiction of you (and me) must be undone.
And the quickest way to do that is to enter the crucible - and listen to Tolle as a debrief.
The reason that's such a potent combo by the way is that going out hitting on chicks will rile your ego up like a crazy thing. When you listen to Tolle later (either when you get home if you haven't pulled or the next day if you have) he's not talking in the abstract. His insights will hit the structure of your ego like wrecking balls, because the structure of your ego is exposed.
This will allow you (I hope) to make rapid progress toward a clean kind of Nimbus (and by that I mean a humble Nimbus) that is unbelievably powerful but that will not lead you to the "Icarus-like" destruction that's so common in the 'community' - and in life.
You see, what we're dealing with here is the eternal question of whether or not a man can achieve vast sums of power without fucking himself up doing it.
I think it's possible - but maybe that's because I just refuse to give up hope that it is. If it's not, and life is really no more than the Augustinian story of "Shut up and keep your head down, or God will shoot it off" then, shucks, I just don't want to be part of that world.
Getting a bit sentimental now - but my point remains. Find where the fear is entrenched. Meet it, then hold yourself in that place, do what you can, express yourself as best you can, and when it hurts, use Eckhart Tolle to transform that pain into insight that will drive you further and further into a state of selfless purity and genuine power.
That's of course if you're doing it with pickup. I think that there might be several other ways to make this happen, several different ways to find a crucible that burns at your ego and exposes it for you to transmute into Nimbus.
I mentioned sales jobs, but really anything that places your personality on the line in a major way with no defences would do the trick. Anything that requires continual courage and tests your humanity.
Either that or you could stay at home and watch Power Rangers.
I prefer the green one.