Sunday, 5 October 2008

Email update news

Guys, Girls

A little post-closure post here - I'm writing this to inform all you peeps who've asked for automatic updates that I've transferred you across to my new blog.

I changed the blog from Wordpress back to Blogger so I could imbed better widgets in it, like the email subscription thing.

You can also now get Tolle audios directly from the blog if you want to.

www.1000daysofpresence.blogspot.com

It's also a nicer layout.

Wordpress is dumb.

Screw Wordpress.

You'll get a new email confirmation saying that you're now a member. If you don't want to be on the list for my new blog, you are clearly packing the intellectual arsenal of a brain-damaged infant, and I don't want you reading my shit. You can opt out in the confirmation email.

Obviously, as a regular subscriber to the blog you are a ten-foot-tall genius hero covered in golden armour, or a sylph-like genius with beauty and presence so powerful you can melt sand from fifty feet. Whichever you prefer.

www.1000daysofpresence.blogspot.com

Much love.

Tuesday, 30 September 2008

New Blog

Yes, that's right, there's a new blog for you all to add to your RSS feeds.

It's entitled 1000 Days Of Presence. You'll see why when you read it at

www.1000daysofpresence.blogspot.com

Thank you everyone who's made this blog more interesting than average. I feel it's time to lay it to rest.

The new one is a diary of a project I'm embarking on. I'll be updating it as regularly as time permits. Anyone who tells a friend about the 1000 Days Of Presence project or posts about it on any blog or internet website officially gets a "cyberhug" from me. This is like cybersex, but less soggy.

If you like the new angle, pass it around. All of the people who've signed up for email updates for this blog I'll try to transfer you onto the next one. I am something of a techno-retard though, so this may take a while. As soon as I find an email signup widget (!?) that works on wordpress where my new blog is I'll stick it up and you can enter your details in there.

I'm going to try not moderating the comments on the new blog, although I'm aware there are some scary ass weirdoes out there who trawl the internet looking for things to swear at. We'll see how it goes.

Remember - the new blog is at

www.1000daysofpresence.blogspot.com

If you like what you see take the link, post it wherever you can. All support is greatly appreciated.

Much love, and thanks again to everyone who's submitted. Deep apologies for not getting back to everyone I've not gotten back to, I have read everything submitted.

Rock on, heroes. This is Dr Jekyll, signing off.

www.1000daysofpresence.blogspot.com

Wednesday, 17 September 2008

Word To My Homs

Hello, gentlemen (and any ladies who might be reading this by accident).

Well, it's been a hectic few months. As any followers of this blog will no doubt be aware, I've not been posting nor responding for a long time. This is for the simple reason that you all smell of wee.

I've been chillin' in the name of, untangling myself from the crazed tomfoolery of the online underworld. I knew I had to get out, and 'just one more response' was keeping me glued to the computer. To coin a phrase, I dropped a portcullis on all things related to the world of seduction. People, places, things - I've just dropped off the radar completely.

All of you who've stayed with the blog, I salute you and give you a great big hug in a non-gay way. Apart from you, Mark. I'm secretly feeling your bottom.

I haven't decided whether or not this blog will undergo a full-scale revival yet - although I will post here and there. I don't want to become an anti-community protest blog - not because I don't think that's worthwhile, but because I'd rather not get sucked into playing another 'guru' role.

Equally, I have been reading my email every now and then, and if you've posted a comment that hasn't been published (there are 126 pending at this moment... eep!) then I will have read it.

As such, I am aware that there are a lot of guys dealing with some really fricked up shit as a result of community exposure. On an ongoing basis I would like to respond to these things as best I can because I really feel for you.

The last couple of posts on the blog, although fine holiday fun, were descending into (from my point of view) a kind of argumentative whak-a-rat. Someone would bring up a load of points, I'd address them, someone would respond to that with 20 more, I'd address them, someone would respond with 50 more, and so on and so forth.

I felt that leaving the blog where it was worked because I think there's enough info in the last 2 posts and response threads to give serious pause for thought. Call it my spanner in the works, if you will.

Now here's what's going to happen - feel free to post some responses. Bear in mind though that it's unlikely I'll be going all out on another serious back-and-forth, point-for-point debate about this, at least in the immediate future.

In other news, have returned to the work of Herr Tolle, have a new job and things are generally looking pretty rosy. Oh, and Lehman Brothers just went under. I told them that CDOs were a bad idea. Did they listen? Did they heck.

Speak soon, peeps.

C

Saturday, 31 May 2008

Redefining Greatness

So it's taken, what 5 days? 6?

That's how long it's taken to pull down the rep I've been building tirelessly for three years. Humbling.

All those of you who have chosen to remain with the blog, I salute you. I realise that there are many things pulling you away from here, and many voices undermining mine.

But you have stayed because you sensed something in what I'm saying. Something that may have hit you like a hammer - or maybe just something that's needling you at the edge of your consciousness and refuses to leave no matter how much you try to ignore it.

Good. What this means is that you are unwilling to simply and easily dismiss something that rings all too true, even if you really want to.

In that, you are already stronger than I was.

And before we go on, I want you to know a couple of things. Firstly, I am no hero. I know that a lot of people are saying and will continue to say that moreover, I am any number of very bad things.

Do not get sucked into caricatures of me in defiance to their venom. If you really respect me, you will not lionise me. I am no lion. I am a leech who wants to be a man again.

Now, I've spoken about a 'new way' and I know that many of you are waiting to hear what I have to say. Before I go on, a couple of things.

1 - This is going to challenge the living shit out of you.
2 - No, really, this is really going to challenge the living shit out of you.

Ok. Another thing I want to say is that I do care deeply about whether or not you get this. I want you to, and as such, all the doubts and questions that you are going to have, that's what the comment function on this blog is for. Shoot from the hip, gents. Don't hold back.

The interesting thing about the community is that the more 'advanced' it gets, the deeper it goes. We started out 10 years ago looking at how to open a conversation, and now we are looking to build our strength right deep down at the spiritual level.

A lot of the reasons for this are that if you have that kind of deep spiritual power, problems with women just evaporate as if they were never there. This is kind of strange and pretty interesting.

Another thing that many people have encountered is that once you get that kind of shit going on, you are suddenly tuned in to the very highest parts of your self. This is absolutely true and deeply revolutionary. It's also one of the main things (addictions notwithstanding) that held me in the seduction community for a long time after I'd achieved way beyond what I'd set out to achieve woman-wise when I got into it.

That is to say, it held my attention, strongly. You'll have heard it referred to in this blog and various community websites as 'nimbus'. And it is a very interesting phenomenon.

To describe it as being 'really on' is not accurate or honest. It is way beyond that. It's much more like a whole new dimension of power and insight which you gain access to. Which feels completely natural, like you at the deepest level. And it's not just your charisma that it supercharges, it blasts into everything. Intellect, sensitivity, vision, clarity, focus - everything.

Now, my question was 'can you trigger and sustain this in the context of seduction.' I spent a lot of time and energy doing my best to do just that, until I realised the simple and inconvenient truth that seduction is a context wherein the sustaining of genuine deep power is impossible.

So what then?

The interesting thing is that firstly, the feeling of this peak state goes way beyond that which you may gain from the adulation of others. In fact it has much less to do with how others see you, and much more to do with how you see them - how tuned in you are to their needs, and how effective you are at meeting them. In fact, it has much more to do with channeling love than with being loved.

Now love is a weak and feeble word, but it is not a weak or feeble thing. The crackling energy of this state gives you access to and turns you into a fountain of pure and genuine love that cuts through all negativity like a floodlight through shadow.

Now, the interesting thing is that when I was at my best, it was because I was going, every week, to a place where I would be exposed to exactly this phenomenon with great intensity.

Every week I would be filled with this thing, with this power.

It's interesting, because the first time I ever went to that place, I reacted very badly. I felt a deep defiance in parts of me I didn't even know I had. I felt a slithering inside my chest, like snakes under rock that had just been lifted. Which to be honest, didn't say very good things about my internals.

I'm going to give you a blast of that place I went to. It's free, you can download it instantly.

Now, before I tell you what that place is, there's something I want to talk about.

Infinity.

Infinity is something which many of us have started to take more seriously recently. The work of men like Eckhart Tolle has given us gateways, if you will, into an unseen realm.

If you don't know anything about this dude, google the fucker, and download his shit. It's good shit. He's a bit of a hippy, but of a very practical and grounded nature.

Now, the thing about the infinite in it's Buddhist conception is that the Buddha, and by extension his followers, see the infinite as a sea in which you dissolve.

They see you, as in you the ego structure, as a static conception in a world of shifting and ever-dynamic intertwined processes.

This is, I believe, pretty fucking astute.

As such, they believe that the way to achieve eternal peace is to dissolve into this infinity.

That's basically Buddhism. Everything else is a route to that - the meditation, the monasticism, the wearing orange, all that jazz.

Now don't get me wrong. I do not think this is stupid, nor inaccurate.

But I do believe it is incomplete.

The difference between the conception of the infinite held by Buddhists, and the conception of the infinite put forward by Christians (at least the ones who aren't too busy gay-bashing or shooting abortion doctors) is that the infinite has a personality.

That it, essentially, is a person. You can interact with it as you would interact with a person. It has a specific plan and agenda for you, as a person would. It has a very distinct character. It talks to you, and it listens to you when you talk back.

That's the first thing. When a Christian talks about 'God' they are referring to precisely the same phenomenon as Eckhart Tolle is when he speaks of 'Being'. When they refer to the 'Holy Spirit' they are talking about the same phenomenon as Eckhart Tolle is when he talks about presence.

The only difference is that they are not just experiencing it directly, but also talking to it directly, and listening to it directly.

Truth is, a great many Christians are shit at this. A great many Christians are much really Christian as Michael Bay is an actual bay.

Nonetheless, it is a very interesting avenue, is it not, to think that there might be something here that is not 'different' to Tolle's conception of the infinite, but is actually deeper and more sophisticated.

Before you turn away in disgust - realise this. I am not, nor will I ever be, a religious man. Religion is fucked - every bit as fucked as seduction. Neither of them is any kind of path to follow. Both will destroy you. I think everyone gets this about religion, and I think in time we'll realise it about seduction also. The big difference is that religion is not a ten-year old underground movement on the internet.

Still, they both have some things in common.

Both of them have their doctrines.

Both have their stock defence mechanisms.

Both have their idols, and both have their heretics. Like me.

Both have evangelists, both have acolytes, both have articles of faith.

Both have their pioneers, both have their standard rationalisations, both have their theologians, and both have the devils they fight.

In fact, I'll go further and say that what we are looking at here is basically the same phenomenon.

The main difference would be that in seduction you get laid quicker and the mid-life crisis hits you a great deal faster.

I've just read over that last sentence and got that feeling you get where you're trying to be funny and you accidentally say something so on point it's mental. A bit like in that film Idiocracy. Hehe.

Ok, here's the thing.

There is no future in either. They are both paths that promise much, and lead nowhere.

However.

There is still 'nimbus' to account for. And there is still the fact that what Christians are attempting, no matter how stupid or counterproductive their methods or their results may be, is something much deeper than dissolving into the sea.

It is forming a relationship, a living, full on, broadband connection, with the infinite.

Now THAT is a definition of nimbus if ever I heard one.

So here is your first challenge.

Greatness. True greatness. There is a guy who's name is Pete, who is a friend of mine. He is, literally, in community parlance, full nimbus.

He a pastor in a non-denominational church and his sermons are searching and penetrating examinations of what genuine greatness is, and how to forge - and maintain - this connection which I speak of.

Here is an mp3. Listen to it. It is fucking awesome. This dude's level of personal wisdom is beyond anything I have ever encountered in real life.

http://www.destinyedinburgh.com/Sermons/Redefining_greatness.aspx

All your comments will be answered.

Apart from the ones trying to goad me into slating Tyler. Stop asking me to do that. It's not going to happen. Not unless you give me a big bag of money.

And some crack.

Word.

Thursday, 29 May 2008

Before I Forget...

Yeah, my facebook account is my full name:

That's "Ciaran Healy" to the uninformed.

There are a few Ciaran Healys on facebook.

I'm the pretty one.

Add me.

Tuesday, 27 May 2008

Falling Feels Like Flying On The Way Down

Ok guys, here's a response I was writing to someone and again, it got out of hand so I figured I'd post it here.

"Anonymous said...

Dude WHAT-THE-FUCK are you talking about? lol

Iam in the seduction community cause I want to get better with women. Some guys are good with women, some are not. If you want to get better with women you learn how to get better in a seduction community. If you don't want to be better with girls you don't join a seduction community."

It's not that simple. If you want to get better with girls, and you join the seduction community, not only will you probably not get better with girls (really - the overwhelming majority of guys who try this fail and are worse off with women afterward than when they started) if you do get better with girls then that newfound skill will not better your life.

It will damage you and those around you.

"WHAT IAM TRYING TO SAY IS THIS: Just chill bro'!!! What is all this complex nerd-talk about life good for? Keep it simple man... Let's bang some chicks!! RAWR!!!(H)"

This is not complex. This is chillingly simple. If you 'bang some chicks' you are not going to be better off for having done it. Period.

"...or not if it makes you more happy to sit in your room and read buddha and stuff."

Dude, I have no illusions that I am going to change your mind. None. I know you are set on this path, and I am sorry for you because you deserve better than where you are headed.

At the same time, 'sitting in your room reading buddha and stuff' is just as fucked as seduction if you're doing it because it 'feels good.'

What is good for you does not always feel good.

And frankly if 'what feels good' is the compass by which you are guiding your journey in life - fuck dude. Like, come on, man. Can you not see that this is dangerous? I mean, can you not see that living like this is emotionally unsustainable? And deeper than that - that the part of you that you are feeding by living this way in any area, let alone the all-consuming addiction of the seduction community, is something that will not serve you?

I mean, really, dude - and anyone reading this, listen. If what makes you happy in the short term is your compass needle, you are feeding that part of you that has no depth!

Do not be so blinded by your victories and the rhetoric of others that you believe that you can get away with this! Do not believe you are above the inescapable laws of human nature!

Hell does not give a fuck what you tell yourself! It just doesn't care! It laughs at you when you rebel against what you must know, somewhere in you, is the truth!

"Destructive??? Dark places??? Iam happier then I've ever been and I look around at the people around me who are doing drugs, complaining, mass drinking, consumerism, YOU KNOW ALL TAHT NICE STUFF???"

Do you not think that I had my periods of amazing happiness? Dude, like I have said, I was very good. I was better at this than most guys ever get. There are a lot of professionals with big followings who did not have the abilities I had. And I reveled in them. I felt like a million dollars. I'd never felt that good before or since.

And let me tell you man, that it's not the sex - although I had a shitload of that. That's like a fucking sideshow to the real action. The real action is the pride. The massive pride in who you are.

The pride that I overcame the impossible. The pride that I went from Zero to Hero. The pride that I lived untouched by the insecurities that had dogged me, and the pride that I was always the centre of attention.

That I could see the fucking matrix, man - that I could handle myself in with the hottest chicks like Neo handles himself in a bar-fight with a fat disabled drunk.

You see it changes. Firstly, there's the high of getting laid. That's a big high. It's even bigger when you consider all the shit you've gone through to get there.

Then when you really start to kick ass, there's the high of just being really slick. That's a big high.

Now here's the thing. You'll be pulling shit out of your ass that is awesome, and you'll love it. You'll be like "this is the coolest shit ever!"

And the girls will love it. And your friends will love it. And all the dudes on the internet will love it.

And there will be nothing about it that seems in any way wrong. Nothing. In fact, it will seem like the most natural and cool thing ever.

You will become a turbo-charged version of yourself, and it will rock so hard you will become an evangelical preacher, converting others to this way.

But here's the problem. And before I get into this let me again state that I have no illusions that this will change your mind. I do not think I would have stopped had I got as deep into this as you.

I guess what I want to do is to say to anyone reading this who is sitting on the brink - get the fuck away from the brink.

The problem is simple. The impossible becomes commonplace.

The impossible becomes commonplace.

What I'm saying is this. The human mind can normalise itself to anything. You will normalise yourself to this glory and when you do, you will encounter something.

This is something, incidentally, that I remember raising at a sit down dinner I had not so long ago with some of the best 'ladies men' alive.

Every single one of them nodded. So do not think that what I am about to describe to you is an isolated case, or specifically to do with me.

The problem you will encounter is NOT boredom.

It is NOT 'oh well, let's just do something else'.

You cannot condition yourself for months and years to relentlessly think and behave in a certain way without building up a massive inertia behind it.

The problem is very simply this - a creeping sense of the hollow.

This is not something that leaps upon you like a wolf. It just starts to seep into your life like poison.

Bit by bit, it gets more and more potent. It does this slowly, and you experience it as follows.

You're hitting on a lovely girl and suddenly you realise, maybe 30 minutes in to the conversation, that you are DEFINITELY going to be able to sleep with her.

You can see everything ahead, and you know exactly how to handle it. Short of an act of God, you know you're already fucking her, you're just moving toward a conclusion.

And when you get that realisation, the magic leaves the situation and it feels dull and mechanical.

And you do it anyway. And you fuck her, and you feel 'meh' about it.

Nothing dramatic, nothing massive, just 'yeah, hmm, ok then. Sex."

So you're chasing that rush you used to get and you go for hotter and hotter chicks.

And for a while you get that rush again. Then again, it goes. And you go for threesomes and strippers. And you get another rush.

Then the banality sets in. And it just feels like "ok, here's another mars bar, I'll eat the mars bar and get the sugar rush. Great. Now I need another mars bar."

And that sense of hollowness, all this time, is getting stronger and louder and harder to ignore.

Who the fuck am I?

What the fuck is going on?

Why do I feel so alone all the time?

And you shake it off and say "Don't be such a pussy. Stop bitching. There are a shitload of guys who would kill to get what you have. Buck your ideas up sonny Jim. Go to the club.

So you go to the club. And you pull.

And this time the hollowness doesn't wait for the sex to be over.

It doesn't wait for a week after you get laid, nor a day, nor a minute.

It's right there with you fucking you as you fuck her.

And suddenly you start thinking "who gives a fuck about this?"

But you can't stop.

And by this time the damage you're doing to yourself by each new girl you fuck is like throwing matches on a bonfire. You're already burning.

You're already way beyond fucked. You're just waiting for the least little thing to come tip those scales and drop you the fuck down.

And it will because the house you have built is a house of cards, and it CANNOT stand.

And when you fucking fall man, you fucking fall. And if any of you out there are thinking "what's all this existential nonsense, why doesn't he talk in specifics" let me say this.

It's not fucking nonsense when it's tearing you a new emotional asshole every single minute of every single day.

It's not fucking nonsense when your skills with women, those same skills you spent so much time honing are ripped away from you because no woman will even speak with a man who's so transparently worthless in his own eyes.

It's not fucking nonsense when all the guys who looked up to you are now looking at you like you never had any skill whatsoever and all your bleating claims of "I used to be good" are unconvincing even to you.

Look, I know that a lot of guys are in this and they seem so together. They're fucking the hottest chicks with total impunity and they feel like a million fucking dollars.

But that million fucking dollars is on loan, dude, and when that debt gets called in, you lose a lot more than you ever think you stood to lose in the first place.

I guess I just want to end with one thought. A lot of guys have responded to me saying "what about me, I feel great" or "What about X, he feels great".

Guys, falling feels like flying on the way down.

Falling feels like flying on the way down.

And the guy who wrote this letter to me is right to point at all the things that are fucked about the world.

"doing drugs, complaining, mass drinking, consumerism..."

You are right. These things are fucked. And they're fucked because they ALL - ALL OF THEM - are about building a life based on short-term hits of happiness, superiority and pride.

As seduction is.

AS SEDUCTION IS.

And just as you cannot divorce "doing drugs, complaining, mass drinking, and consumerism" from the short term high and the long term low that are associated with them, that are inextricably bond up in the very foundations of what these things are - ANY project of self-improvement based around seduction is irretrievably interwoven with the short term hit and the long-term low.

But the real killer is this. That long term low will hit you. And it will. There is no way out while you strive to be a better seducer of women.

None. Full stop.

Sorry.

Sunday, 25 May 2008

A Short Public Service Announcement

Hey there guys.

Ok, as some of you are aware, I've recently left RSD.

Before I go on to explain the reasons behind this, I think it's important to say that there has not been a 'falling out'. Sorry. No drama. Well, not of that kind, anyway.

Also, anyone looking at the RSD forum will notice that my archive has been deleted. This is because I personally requested it's deletion, and I would like to thank Tyler and the guys for doing that for me. They didn't have to and make the waves associated with it, but they did and I thank them for that.

To quote from the email I sent to Tyler asking for him to do this:

" A lot of the stuff I've advised guys to do and a lot of the ways I've
told guys to think are going to lead them into very dark places. It's
something I wasn't prepared to admit while I was still in RSD, but
it's abundantly clear to me now that I've been misusing my gifts as a
writer and a thinker to glorify myself at the expense of what's really
good for the people who trust me and listen to me. "

And that's the truth, guys.

Ok, the reason I left RSD is this. I am done with seduction. I really am. I don't think that there's a future there for me, and I don't think it's what I should be doing. Recently I've been feeling like the darkness inherent in that path is too much for me to take, to handle, or to survive.

There is nothing more seductive than the seduction community. It really, really got under my skin. It really, really went to my head. And the blunt truth is that the deeper I got into it, the more I realised that the vision of the 'happy seducer' that we all cherish and strive for is, I believe, a fiction.

Now, RSD is very open about this. Tyler has said on several occasions that it is in sorting out your life that you sort out your love life, and Jeffy has spoken live in many instances on the fact that seduction will not and cannot 'save' you.

Before I go on, I would like to state that I believe that RSD represents the very best of the community, not simply in their ability to build your confidence and success with women but also in terms of their integrity as men.

However, I do not believe that the mission to 'get good with women' is one which is emotionally sustainable nor ultimately healthy. It is good inasmuch as it provides a focal point for self-improvement, but I feel that there is a fundamental contradiction between detaching yourself from ego, self-worship and pride by embarking on a campaign of short-term superficial physical relationships with strangers.

This is a personal opinion which I have reached myself after extensive testing. I do not want it to be true. I wish that I could believe that there is redemption in charisma, in sex and in the glory of owning a club but the truth is that I have climbed to the top of that mountain and found nothing there but a cliff-face.

This is not a condemnation of any of the guys at RSD, who I still consider my friends. They are a superb group of men, deeply committed to helping everyone they come into contact with. I have accompanied them on several bootcamps and was consistently blown away by the compassion, genius and dedication of the instructor staff.

Also, I am especially happy that I was involved in the launch of Tyler's Blueprint, which is an amazing work - a true piece of modern philosophy from a true philosopher.

Nonetheless, I am glad that I have left the community, and I do not regret my decision to leave RSD. However, I still have a deep love and respect for the guys I worked with, and I will miss them all. With the potential exception of Jeffy. He's a dick. Kidding. Love you Jeff.

;p

So that's all I've got to say for now. It was one hell of a ride, guys.

Oh, and stay tuned to the blog. I will continue to update. And you're not going to want to miss this.

Ever Yours

Ciaran